see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize