it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
