You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
