That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
