what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
