I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize