How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's shark week go big or go home
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
