you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
