This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
