Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize