He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
