I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize