oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
