my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
