I queefed so loud it echoed.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
