you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Your penis caused this!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
