Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She even gives head with a lisp.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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