I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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