How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
