She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
