he thought i was a dude.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
