actually, I'm a sock model
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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