I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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