He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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