Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
