Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
