worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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