you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
