am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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