Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
