thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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