She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize