Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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