that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
