a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
