I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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