i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm drive I can fine osifer
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
