Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
