She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize