I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
