You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
