Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You are a genius and a whore.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
