gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
