I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
