Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
