WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
