Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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