I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize