chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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