Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
