Cold hands, warm shart.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
