I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You're my little dorito
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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