Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
