That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My vagina just clenched in fear
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