can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
