I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
