do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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