I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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