we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
