I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
