too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
there is puke in my bra ... again
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