Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
