I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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