Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
