apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
