Im at strip club and am horny
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
