Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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