his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What a dumb baby whore.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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