How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
