Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
