I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
