i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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