Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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