it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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