who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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